NO HABLO!

Hola Amigos,

Well it looks like if the world doesn't end on December 21st, as predicted, I will get on a plane the day after Christmas and travel to a Buenos Aires, Argentina, to spend a month with my daughter Rachael and her boyfriend Owen.

She has been living there for the past 5 years, going to school, but I have never managed to visit her.
In fact I have never actually traveled anywhere abroad, (unless you count Alberta, Canada), and you could count the number of times I have flown on one hand, so this is going to be a  true mid-life adventure. I have set up this blog so you can all travel with me so I won't be lonely  and to pass on any travel tips I glean.

So far a couple of people have offered me these  exceptional words of advice: "Don't get robbed by hookers!" (that from my son Quillan who went to visit Rachael last year, so thanks QUILLAN, I WILL keep that in mind), and "Don't throw away the little scraps of paper that the customs agents give you when you enter Argentina unless you want to pay a lot of money when you leave for everything you actually brought in with you, like your camera, ipad, etc, since those "scraps" are your receipt", that from my brother and world traveler, Craigie.

Usually the first question that anyone  asks me when I tell them where I am headed is: "Do you speak Spanish?" and my answer is "NO", but I am not too worried as according to everything I have been reading on-line, neither do the Porteños (what the citizens of Buenos Aires are called).  For instance this is what it says in the Wikipedia Uncyclopedia about Argentina:"For everyone who invested two, three, or five years learning Spanish, or for those who took the time on a crash course or just spent hard earned income buying phrasebooks, congratulations. All your efforts and money will be completely useless in Argentina."

Evidently, they speak something else entirely(!) but not to worry;  I have come up with a fool proof plan (well, heavier accent on the fool, but I do have a plan).

Originally I was just going to tell everyone I was mute but I bet you can already spot the flaw in that plan, besides the fact that I don't know how to say it in Spanish. And also if you know me at all, you also know that I don't do very well when it comes to keeping my mouth shut.

So, plan B: I have learned to say " I am from Sweden"  and "I only speak Swedish" in Spanish.  Really, it's true I am of Swedish extraction  and I figure that this ploy will prevent me from being  mistaken for one of the Rich Imperialist  North Americans  (see, I said NORTH American so that alone shows I am not imperialist) and thence be less of a target for crime.
I figure if everyone thinks I only speak Swedish, they won't attempt to have any conversations with me in English or Spanish so I can go about my business unharrassed.

The only flaw with my plan was that I just found out that there is a famous Swedish restaurant in the city so I hope that there isn't also a huge Swedish ex-pat community wandering around saying yah, shur and the like. If I do run into one of them, I will just pretend that their Swedish has become so rusty during their stay in South American that it is incomprehensible.

 At any rate, I will avoid that part of town just to be on the safe side.

I have also picked up a nifty tee shirt on Etsy that says "NO HABLO" which should get me off the hook.  I tried  it out at the local yerba maté harvest... I dunno what the heck these guys are saying!!!

¡No hablo, chabron!

And of course,  in case of emergency, I am memorizing a couple of key phrases: "estoy perdida" (I am lost) and "¿esta riendo de mi?" (are you laughing at me?) so I won't sound totally ignorant!

Anyway, check back in now and then and follow me on mis adventuras! It should be grand.

   Ciao for now,

        J